city bells

Hiring a Wedding Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide

2006-10-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

Small, simple weddings and receptions are usually small and simple enough to be arranged by the engaged couple themselves without too much stress and trouble. But more often than not, weddings are seldom simple and rarely small events, and the bride and groom need to decide first if they need the assistance of a wedding planner, and if so, who should they pick? It takes a bit of work, but in the end, if done right, you can be seeing your dream wedding be organized in ways you weren't sure were possible.

Start by asking around for local wedding planners from friends and relatives who have been recently married or look online or in the phonebook for local consultants.
Narrow the list down and schedule a few appointments with the consultants that piqued your interest.
During the meetings with the various wedding planners, give them as good an idea as you have of what you want the wedding to be like and let them know your budget. Ask how close to your idea they can come within that budget, and ask what kind of fees they charge based on what you would need them to do for your wedding.
Feel free to ask for various credentials and testimonials from the weddings they have helped plan in the past. Credentials can include a business license, proof of membership to any national organization, and anything that proves they are not just a wedding enthusiast instead of a legitimate business person.
Ask to see a portfolio of photographs from prior weddings, and find out what sort of things they have arranged in the past, along with what they consider their strengths or areas of expertise in particular.
Pick their brain about the specifics of a traditional wedding -- a professional wedding planner should know more about weddings than just about anyone else, especially if they have been in the business for a long time.
After the meetings, discuss all the potential planners and decide who the two of you liked the most and felt the most comfortable with. Comfort level is as important as the consultant's basic ability to do what they claim: if you cannot express yourself and communicate with your wedding planner, it will be harder to plan the perfect wedding.
When everything is said and done and both the bride and the groom have agreed upon one person, remember to sign a contract with the wedding planner of your choice, outlining everything that was agreed upon, from payment to what services will be provided, and what to do in case the wedding is cancelled.

Remember, the better you treat your wedding consultant, the better they will work for you. And if they do a wonderful job, offer to write a letter of reference to show future couples. And be mindful of your gut instinct when choosing a planner. If everything inside you is saying "no," it is within your best interest to listen. And make sure the person you choose is going to keep your best interests and ideas at heart and do their best to find you the best deals that they can. And with all of that kept in mind, there is no reason you won't have the wedding you have always dreamed of.

How to Budget Well for That Upcoming Wedding

2006-10-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

The average wedding these days is somewhere around $19,000. With that sort of money, you could get a brand new car, go on several vacations, travel to Europe for a month or two, or any number of things. But not all of us can afford to drop that kind of money for a single day. In order to make sure you aren't stuck with an exorbitant amount of money to fork over when it's all said and done, it's a good idea to plan ahead, make a budget, and stick to it! Start by looking over your finances with your spouse-to-be. It can save problems in the beginning, as money is one of the touchiest subjects in relationships, something that often leads to divorce with couples who aren't on the same page financially.

Discuss credit card debt, medical bills, student loans, car payments -- anything that requires paying off over a long period of time.
Take the time to talk about potential expenditures of money necessary after the wedding.
Figure out average income, how much of that automatically goes out in taxes, and how much goes towards paying off various expenses.
These are all important and can impact the basic ability you may have to afford a fancier wedding. Other factors that will affect price:
Where the wedding and reception are being held. Cost to reserve a venue differs from place to place, and the cost per place varies by time of year, and time of week.
When the wedding and reception are being held. Certain times of year or even certain times of the week can affect price. The price is higher if the particular time is a popular one for various events, and the price is lower during off-peak times.
The amount of time between the beginning of planning the wedding and the actual date. The longer you wait, the more it could cost you and the fewer options you will have.
Determine how much financial help you are getting from others to pay for the wedding, and then figure out how much money you can afford to spend on the wedding. When you've come up with a number, figure out what aspects you consider most important, and make a list in order of most important to least. Next to each, list the maximum amount of money you will spend on each.

Decide whether or not you will need help from a wedding planner or if the event is simple or low-key enough to handle on your own. If you are lucky enough to have friends who are creative and would be willing to handle certain aspects of the wedding for you as a wedding gift, talk over the feasibility of it with your spouse, and then adjust the budget accordingly. Also, consider opening a bank account specifically for paying for the wedding. That way, it will be easier to see what money is being spent where, and how much you have to work with if something changes down the road. Be thrifty, find ways to cut corners, and stick to that budget, and you'll be on your way to a worthwhile wedding to remember for a very long time.

Picking the Right Wedding Planner

2006-10-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Getting married is a common thing. People are doing it all the time, across the world, and have been for as long as the idea of a community existed. But despite its frequency, marriage is still an important part of many people's lives, and too many, taking that first step towards the intended rest of their lives with the person they love is best done with the perfect wedding. In order to do this, and do it right, most people will hire a wedding planner to make sure they get exactly what they need and want in time for the big day.

Being engaged and being the guest at a wedding or two does not mean the bride and groom have any more idea of what is actually involved in a wedding than they did before. And with the right wedding planner, it is possible to still feel as if the wedding was planned for you, not by you, which will often allow the bride and groom to enjoy the day while the wedding planner worries about the finer details.

Before choosing someone to handle the reins of your wedding and reception, look around and see what sort of choices are available. Ask friends who they have hired, and what their experience was. You can also find local wedding planners in the phone book, or use the internet to find them as well. There are planners with websites that showcase some of their work to help you decide to look into their services to begin with.

When you have narrowed down a list, start talking to the consultants themselves. It is a good idea to see what their strengths and weaknesses are, and most importantly, ask to see some kind of portfolio of past work. Ask how long they have been in the business, and how many weddings they have helped coordinate over that period of time. Feel free to ask for credentials, and ask around to see what others have to say about them, if anything. If the planner is willing to divulge, ask who they often rely on for services such as cake- making and floral arranging. If you have an idea of what sort of things you would like to happen during your wedding, look to see if the weddings these consultants have planned resembles some of the things you are looking for. Ask plenty of questions, and make sure you feel comfortable with the person you think of hiring. It is also important to be able to trust your wedding planner, as they are the one handling the money being spent and they are the ones pull the strings to make sure everything goes according to plan.

A wedding planner basically plays the role of several different kinds of professionals, and must be able to play those roles effectively in order to gain a reputation that will lead to repeat business and allow them to maintain their planning business. Because when it comes to hiring someone to oversee everything for a wedding, no one wants to hire someone who is only so-so. Before choosing a planner, make sure to ask around for anyone who has worked with them before to make sure they are capable of doing the things you need them to. And if so, congratulations, and start planning that wedding!

Cutting Corners for Weddings in Smaller Ways

2006-10-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

Let's assume for a moment that you have a very loose and forgiving budget. But somehow -- just somehow -- your original plans for that big day are just over the maximum limit of what you can spend. And you need to bring that price down -- not a lot, just in small ways. Here are a few things to think about that can help save money for your wedding but won't detract from some of the larger, more important aspects.

The first thing guests see is invitations. With the right printer and a good eye for design, why spend a lot of money on specially designed invitations when you can do them yourself? The average specially-ordered wedding invitation costs at least $1 each if not more -- so for a 300 person wedding, that's $300 in invitations alone! But if you have a good-quality printer, or at least know someone who does, printing invitations you design yourself costs the price of paper and any additional ink cartridges you may need, which might be $100 at the most for a complicated, multi-colored invitation for 300 guests.

When it comes to decorations, go low-key or hold the reception somewhere that is already decorated. Or, before the wedding, get together with family members and friends and make the decorations yourself. If the wedding and/or the reception is being held during the summer in the backyard of a house (whether your own or someone else's), consider planting flowers shortly before the wedding, or plant bulbs ahead of time, depending on how long the particular bulb needs to mature.

Not only does the do-it-yourself approach work with decorations and flowers, but it can apply to any sort of favors and take-home centerpieces for the guests. Ordering pre-made candy packs designed to match the wedding colors can be more expensive than doing a little searching on your own and making something with your own hands -- or perhaps the hands of a few close friends!

As far as music goes, having a live band can be nice, but hiring a DJ is a good idea as well. Bands generally have one or two particular styles of music, and a set list, but a DJ is usually versatile enough to be able to play just about anything because their list of songs to play is dependent upon their music stock, which are just about any songs that have been recorded. DJs also require fewer breaks and give the option for requesting songs so everyone in attendance can hear something they like. And you might like that local band you heard at the coffee shop last Friday, but will your grandmother?

The main thing to remember is that, while it cuts the cost to do things on your own, remember that the downside is that it will require more time spent. And planning and getting ready for a wedding is no small task, so having a low-key do-it-yourself wedding is not the best choice for everyone. Though, if you know people who are attending the wedding who are gifted in particular arts such as cooking, decorating, or graphic art, perhaps see if they will help with the wedding in lieu of a wedding gift. It will help you out and will give the opportunity for them to showcase their talents, and in the long run it will allow you to focus on other parts of the wedding that need more attention than invitations and wedding favors.

You're Engaged! What Next?

2006-10-05T20:23:00.000-07:00

When the decision to get married comes along, it can sometimes turn your world upside down. There are so many people to tell, and everyone has so many questions. It can easily overwhelm just about anyone! Just take a step back, breathe in and out a few times, and consider the best course of action towards the planning of the big day.

Getting the word out is definitely the first step, no matter how late or how soon the wedding is set. Usually, the sooner the better, especially in a wedding less than a few months away. Sit down and make a budget with specifics as to who is taking care of what and how much help and funding they are willing or capable of giving towards the wedding. The bride's family generally takes care of a good portion of the wedding, but if the bride's family does not have the cash flow for the kind of wedding their daughter and future son-in-law desire, things can be scaled down, or other means of financing can be found.

Find the wedding planner to fit your budget and your style if you are planning on having a wedding with a good-sized guest list. They can help you organize and figure out what to do when, and where to find the best deals to make the day as close to your dream wedding as possible.

When it comes to deciding on most things wedding-related, you need to take a few things into account: personality, guest list, and spending limit.

Most or all aspects of the wedding and reception should somehow reflect the personality of the bride and groom.
A large venue with a small guest list works about as well as a small venue with a large guest list.
The larger the guest list, the larger the venue needs to be. The larger the venue, the more details there are to take into account.
The more the details, the more the money spent.

Remember that the farther in advance you decide where you want to have the wedding, the less of a chance there is that you'll have to fight over the date and time with another wedding party. It also gives any out-of-town friends and family more time to make travel arrangements. The options for where to hold the wedding and reception are almost limitless. You can either set a guest list first and find a place that will fit that number, or find a place you like and make the guest list accordingly.

Keep in mind that certain times of year and busier and more popular for weddings than others. Particular days, weeks, and times of year will lead to lower prices if no one is clamoring over themselves and others to reserve the space.

Destination weddings are quite popular, but if you have a lot of family and friends with small children, health issues that keep them from going far, or money issues that don't allow for much leeway, a wedding too far away can lead to a very small wedding party; that works for some people, but not for all.

After the basics have been decided, and everything is falling into place, the specific details can be ironed out. But with the help of family, friends, and a well-utilized wedding planner, there is no reason your wedding can't be everything you have dreamed of, and possibly more.

So You Want to Plan Weddings, Do You?

2006-10-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

The wedding industry has become a very large one over the years. People specialize in wedding-related fields all over the place and manage to make a good living off of it because there are weddings happening all the time, so the demand for various services is a big one. Floral arrangements, wedding cakes, wedding dresses, invitations, decorations -- all of these and more require a great deal of focus and know-how. But for those who want to be involved in weddings but are better at overseeing than baking, designing, or creating, there is the very necessary job of wedding planning. But the job is a hard one, and not everyone has what it takes to do it well.

There are some basic attributes a wedding planner must have in order to be truly successful: -Patience. Weddings are stressful and often complicated, and the bride, groom, and any involved family member are going to feel under a lot of pressure. Being able to deal with a vast range of emotions while still doing a good job is key in this industry.

A certain "take charge" attitude. Wedding planners are similar to personal assistants. They know what needs to be done, who needs to be called, and should, in most cases, be able to anticipate the needs of their clients' before the client realizes them.
Creativity. Sometimes the bride and groom aren't sure what they want to do for their reception, or where to hold the ceremony. Theme weddings and receptions are popular with some crowds, and coming up with ideas that the couple will like the sound of is important. Very few people want a completely boring or drab wedding.
A basic (or more-than-basic) understanding of religions, which will help you tailor the wedding ceremony to the needs of your clients, as very seldom are weddings non-religious in nature, though it does happen. Understanding what can and can't be done in various religions, and knowing what should and can't go on is all very important.
An eye for detail. Knowing how to match colors and styles from every area of the wedding is important. Without a keen eye, it is significantly harder to get word-of-mouth business, which is a good way to gain a reputation as a good wedding planner.
Good accounting skills. It is not only the wedding planner's job to make sure the wedding is as close to the bride and groom's ideal as possible, but must know how to handle the money of whomever is paying for it.
Good networking skills. Knowing who to call for various wedding- related projects is important. And when you have someone you get frequent business, you can often get discounted rates because they want you to keep handing projects over to them to further their own business. Not only does this make you more efficient, it also saves money for the bride and groom, which is always appreciated.

With all of these skills, you may be able to set yourself apart from the scores of wedding planners already out there. The industry is large and very wide-spread, so it may be a hard job to break into, but with hard work and determination, it is entirely possible to succeed. So if you’re calling is wedding planning, then have at it. Start with attempting to plan a friend's wedding for free, perhaps, instead of a wedding gift. Or ask local wedding planners if you can shadow them to get a feel for the job and see if it is something you’d really be interested in doing as a career. And remember, the most important part of a wedding planner's personality is patience and a drive to get the job done. Use that to get yourself start, because it isn't the easiest field to break into.

Getting the Beautiful Dress You Want Without Breaking the Bank

2006-10-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

Women grow up with the idea of fairy tale weddings that are supposed to be the most important day of our lives -- the day we are considered our most beautiful. And everyone who falls in love with this idealized notion most likely also has their own fantasy wedding dress in mind, as well. The problem is, this dream some of us has can turn into a huge expensive without some thoughtful consideration and some thriftiness. Consider looking online for a gown. Because there is no middleman, the cost is generally lower, and having the dress tailored to fit your figure will often be less than what you end up saving by having the dress sent straight to your house. Sometimes it is possible to save up to 30% or more in some cases on wedding gowns depending on when and where your order it. And when the average wedding gown bought in a store can cost around $1,000, which can be a considerable amount.

If you have a particular gown in mind, or have seen one at a bridal store that you fell in love with but can't afford, find a local seamstress who can come close to replicating that dress at a lower price. Since the dress will be made to fit you, it won't need alterations, and the cost of materials will be less because the seamstress can generally purchase wholesale fabrics below retail prices. In some cases, this can cut the cost of an expensive dress almost in half, depending on the intricacies involved.

Borrowing a gown is also a viable option, and having your mother or grandmother’s dress tailored to fit you or restored generally costs less than buying a whole new dress to begin with, and can be turned into a family heirloom if the gown is taken care of properly. Also, recently married friends might be willing to allow you to wear their gown, as well. This tactic can easily save you upwards of 70% of the dress cost, with the only money being spent on tailoring. Along the same lines as borrowing your mother's wedding dress, think vintage. There are plenty of places out there that have older wedding dresses from past decades, and the prices are generally less (accepting, of course, for dresses that may be one-of-a-kinds or original pieces from famous designers).

Sometimes having a less formal wedding is a good cost-saver for many reasons, and would require a less costly dress. Instead of a complex, very ornate dress, consider finding a bridesmaid's dress that you are fond of, and order it in white. This may also help make choosing the bridesmaids’ dresses much simpler.

And what if you found a dress in a bridal store that is everything you wanted a wedding gown to be, even as a little girl, but it's too much money? If the fabric itself is somewhat expensive, ask if that style can be made with a different material. In most cases, you can save a bit of money (not a large amount, but $100 to $200 can make a difference) by getting the dress you want in a material that isn't as fancy, but still look just as beautiful.

In a lot of ways, the ways that will work for you will depend on your personality and what you are looking for in a wedding dress. But either way, it is possible to look radiant and beautiful without the painful blow to your checking account. And if you can find the perfect dress without spending the yearly revenue of a small third world country that smile people see in all of the wedding photos will be even brighter and more beautiful.

Buy That Cake, and Eat It Too!

2006-10-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

Wedding cakes can be a large expenditure of money depending on many factors, such as size, shape, how many pieces there need to be, and what kind of cake it is. If it wasn't an important part of the wedding, would so many people freeze a piece or two to have on a future wedding anniversary down the road? But while the average store- bought 8-piece cake can cost around $10, meaning $1.25 per slice, wedding cakes can cost up to $5 or more per slice. And depending on the size of the guest list, this can be more expensive than any of us would like to think about. But there are ways to cut down the cost but not cut down on the flavor and beauty.

The first step is deciding what flavor and design of cake you want. Make a list of preferred tastes and looks, and then make a second list of secondary alternatives. This can sometimes make the difference in the end depending on what is considered a more expensive ingredient, though is won't necessarily cut the cost significantly. But if something on your preferred list is a specialty item that can bring up the cost, consider replacing it with something simpler.

Don't forget to shop around for prices. If your wedding is being catered, ask the caterers about cakes. Go to bakeries that sell smaller cakes that you have eaten and enjoyed and see if they are willing or able to make a much larger cake for you. Grocery stores will make custom cakes for birthday parties, as well, so perhaps they have someone on staff that knows how or can learn how to make the kind of cake you want.

If you are within a certain distance of a college that has a culinary major, consider asking if a student or students can make the cake as a way of furthering their hands-on experience with baking.

If the time of your wedding fits in with the teacher's curriculum for the class, you can get a much cheaper price while assisting in teaching eager students how to properly make a wedding cake. Consider having an ornate mock-cake set up on the main table that is very ornate but made out of styrofoam or plastic, with a smaller layered cake for cake-cutting and then serve guests a nicely decorated pre-cut sheet cake. This cuts costs because baking a sheet cake or a smaller layer cake is easier to bake than a whole wedding cake, which requires specific pans and tools to create properly.

And, as in many cases, making the cake yourself or with a group of friends can be cost-effective and lead to fun times preparing for the big day. Or, if you aren't much of a baker but know someone who is good with desserts and is coming to the wedding -- a friend with a culinary degree, perhaps, who never ended up pursuing it as a career -- they may be willing to bake the cake for you as a wedding present instead of buying you that third toaster oven you so sorely need. If you manage to lower the price of the cake to a manageable sum, in all likelihood you will be able to enjoy it even more; and we all know that the beauty of a cake is not very important after people begin to cut into it. And who knows: get the cake done right and there might not be any left to freeze for a later date!

You Have the Dress, Now to Pick the Rest of your Outfit

2006-10-01T17:59:00.001-07:00

Sure, the wedding gown gets all the attention, but what about the rest of the ensemble? Without the proper accessories, a wedding gown is sometimes just another expensive dress. That is, of course, unless the bride and groom are having a theme wedding of the accessory-less variety. But as it is highly unlikely that such a thing would be happening, it is important to get the rest of your outfit up to par in order to look your best.

Shoes should be found as soon as your gown has been picked out. The number of different styles of shoe available to women in general is huge, and the number ready to be worn by a bride or her bridesmaids is just as large.

Remember that these are shoes that will be worn from the beginning of the ceremony until the point during the reception where they are kicked off to dance freely with your friends. If you can't walk comfortably in them for very long, be very careful about buying them. You don't want to have foot cramps and blisters on your wedding day.
Take the time to break the shoes in before the wedding so your feet can acclimate to them well enough to not cause any trouble during the ceremony.
If your dress is not a standard stark-white, it is possible have them dyed to match your dress.
Sometimes the right shoe costs more than other kinds you would normally wear. But in some cases, you get what you paid for. And when you are wearing a dress that costs multiple hundreds of dollars (possibly over $1000), it may be worth it to have a well-made pair of shoes, even if they are expensive.

Jewelry is an important addition to the wedding attire, as it can add shimmer and shine or can lead the eye up toward the bride's face if placed carefully.

Jewelry can come in silver or gold, be new or old or even a family heirloom, not to mention somewhat bare or have jewels or diamonds and pearls mount on them.
The correct pair of earrings can help accentuate the neck or the way the bride's hair is done. For hair that is done up, consider long dangling earrings that match the necklace.
When wearing a white dress with silver accessories, a silver necklace with boldly colored stones can bring out the contrast of the bride’s eyes and hair. Some brides decide to wear a veil, while others opt not to.
For those that plan on a veil, talk to the hairdresser who will be doing your hair on the day of your wedding to figure out what sort of veil would best go with your hair style and face shape
Don't get the veil until you pick the dress and decide whether or not the dress will also have a train.
If a veil does not suit you, consider a stylish hat that matches your dress and the way your hair is being put up.

Whatever you end up deciding, a lot of it hinges upon the dress that is picked out and the type of wedding you are having. And with the right combination of accessories, you can go from being beautiful to stunning, and you won't believe how much better those wedding pictures can look when you're wearing a little decoration.

What To Do If you are the Maid of Honor or the Best Man

2006-10-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

Both the maid of honor and the best man are hand-picked by the bride and groom as someone very important and often closest to them, and therefore they have very specific roles in the wedding. Not only do they support the bride or groom during the planning and organizing, but they are also the ones to help find ways to relax the couple and make sure they still have fun through the stress they will come to.

The maid of honor is the bride's right hand woman, and as such, has to make sure that certain aspects of the wedding go off without a hitch.

The maid of honor should help the bride send out the wedding invitations. -She is also required to be at most (if not all) showers held for the bride or parties held for both the bride and the groom.
The maid of honor is in charge of getting a hold of the rose petals used before and after the wedding, and should make sure the flower girl knows what to do.
She should help the bride get ready for the wedding, as well as help her pack for the honeymoon.
It is the job of the maid of honor to make sure the other bridesmaids fulfill their own wedding-related obligations such as fittings, rehearsals, and anything else that the bride may have asked of them.
The maid of honor must work with the best man and let him know which of the ladies in attendance are to be wearing flowers before being seated during the ceremony.
She must hold the bride's bouquet during the ring exchange and remember to hand it back before the newlyweds leave to go to the reception.
After the bride and groom leave for their honeymoon, it is the duty of the maid of honor to take care of the bride's gown as requested.

The best man has the groom's best interests as heart and has a lot of work to do to make sure the day goes swimmingly.

The best man should help the groom remember as many of his own duties as possible, such as making sure he has the marriage license on hand.
He should help the groom pack for the honeymoon and help plan travel arrangements for the wedding and the honeymoon.
The best man is responsible for overseeing the ushers and the ring bearer, and making sure they understand what they are doing.
He should be the first at the reception to greet the bride and groom after making sure everything is going according to plan.
The Best Man gives the first toast at both the wedding and the rehearsal dinner.
After the wedding, it is the best man's job to take care of the groom's tuxedo, whether to return it if it is a rental, or to have it cleaned if the groom owns it.

With the help of the maid of honor and the best man, the bride and groom will have an enjoyable and wonderful day worth remembering. It may require a lot of work on the part of these two, but in the end, it is well worth it to watch someone so close to you have such a nice day to look back on, and know that you were a large part of that day as well.

Regarding Wedding Cancellations and Postponements

2006-09-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, even after months or years of planning and arranging everything, a wedding doesn't go quite as hoped. Sometimes doubts and second-guessing will take hold and lead to the cancellation of the whole ceremony. Sometimes, due to personal matters such as family deaths, weddings are postponed for a later date or plans are changed entirely. There are specific things that need to be taken care of, and in many cases, they need to be taken care of promptly.

If a wedding is cancelled well in advance, it is often enough to send notes (either hand-written or in a similar style to the invitation cards, only less enthusiastic and considerably more sedate and somber) to everyone invited telling them very politely that the wedding will not take place. It is not required to give a reason as to why the wedding has been cancelled. If the wedding is within a few days, sending cards is not quick enough, and calling guests is the best course of action, especially those coming in from out of town that have plane reservations and hotel rooms booked for the ceremony.

In the case of a postponement, the same rules apply: if the wedding is far enough away, sending a note with an announcement that the wedding won't happen as planned is fine, though mentioning the reason is a good idea. And if the wedding is not far off at all, it is again important to call the guests to make sure they can rearrange their reservations.

If the new wedding date is set soon after the announcement is set out, it is a good idea to resend invitations. Remember to let everyone know if the venues for the wedding or reception have changed due to scheduling conflicts or the like.

If you cancel the wedding but have already received shower gifts and some wedding gifts, it is imperative that the gifts are returned unused. It is in very bad taste to use gifts before the wedding and reception are over, and it is even worse to keep the gifts if you aren’t intending on becoming a married couple.

The only time it may be alright to keep a gift is if it is engraved or personalized so that it cannot be given as a gift to anyone else if it were returned to the gift-giver. If a gift is personalized to both the bride and the groom, however, it is harder to determine who keeps the gift, or if it should be sent back regardless of personalization.

In the same vein of things that require being given back if a wedding is cancelled, the engagement ring is supposed to be given back as well if the engagement is called off. Regardless of how angry or upset you may be, it is not a good idea to throw it into a river, out a car window, into a garbage can, and pawning it off is also not advisable.

Specific handling of announcement wording will vary from case to case, but make sure to let everyone know so no one wastes money on gas or airline miles for a wedding that won't take place. In general, think very carefully before the big day because no one likes being stood up at the alter -- and the guests tend not to appreciate it either.

Theme Weddings When a Traditional Wedding Doesn't Quite Seem Right

2006-09-28T21:06:00.000-07:00

Not everyone looks forward to being married in a beautifully decorated place of worship, surrounded by bright flowers and hearing the sobs of their mother directly over their shoulder while repeating the well-known words until the ceremony is over. Theme weddings have become a way for brides and grooms to set their ceremonies apart, as well as give their imaginations a work out and give their guests something to remember them by. If you are considering holding a theme wedding, here are a few ideas used by others that may give you an idea of what you would like to do.

Some ideas are either too expensive or too risky to invite many guests, but are still rather interesting.

A bride and groom who were both avid scuba divers held their wedding underwater along with a handful of groomsmen and bridesmaids and the minister, while the words they needed to say were written on cards that were held up at the appropriate time.
Another couple decided on a Mount Olympus theme, with ten of their closest friends invited as a specific Greek god or goddess to share in a special ceremony. The couple later held a reception for the rest of their family, though the marriage was legalized during the theme wedding.
One couple managed to rent out a sound stage that was set up in such a way to resemble being in the midst of clouds, with blue-skied backdrops and scented fog. Guests received a video of some memorable moments taped using hidden cameras during the ceremony to better remember the day by.

Other ideas are more generic and can coincide with destination weddings or out-of-town weddings.

Beach themes are popular, whether on a cruise with a number of family members, or in an area that has beautiful beaches and allows ceremonies to take place next to the ocean. There are other theme weddings that seem to work best with a large number of people to help not only prepare it and make it work, but to fully enjoy it.
While some girls have dreams of fairy tale weddings, others have dreams of royal weddings. And with the help of an entire congregation, a couple without much of a financial standing were able to have a beautiful royal wedding despite the lack of claim on any throne.
Despite the slightly morbid sound it might have, another couple held a Romeo and Juliet theme wedding, with medieval clothing, dancing, and a large feast fit for a Lord and Lady, and all of their vows written as though they were from another time.

Whatever the theme you are planning, remember the only limits come from your budget and your imagination. With a little bit of ingenuity and sometimes the help of a skillful wedding planner, it is possible to do just about anything for your wedding. Chances are, it will end up being one of the most interesting weddings any of your guests have been to in a while.

The Do's and Don'ts of Bridal Showers

2006-09-27T17:29:00.001-07:00

The wedding tradition we know as the bridal shower is believed to have started in Holland after a young woman fell in love and wanted to marry a poor miller, much against her father's wishes. When the couple married, the woman's father withheld her dowry, leaving the two to live off the miller's meager salary. The townspeople were quite fond of the miller, who was willing to give what little he had with anyone in need; they decided to shower the couple with gifts as a way of replacing her dowry so the bride could properly set up the home they shared. Since then, it is common for a close friend to throw a bridal shower for the bride-to-be. With such a get-together, though, there are guidelines for what is considered proper etiquette and what isn't.

For the actual shower itself...

It is a good idea to plan the bridal shower not only when it is convenient to everyone invited, but prior to the last week before the wedding. Wait to long to hold the shower and the bride may be too stressed out to truly enjoy herself.
The bride is not allowed to host the shower for herself; in fact, it is generally supposed to be a surprise.
It is often considered in poor choice for the mother of the bride to host the shower, as it can come across as a plea for more gifts for the bride and groom.
The maid of honor or a close friend of the bride should plan and host the shower.
Everyone invited to the bridal shower must also be invited to the wedding.
It is entirely possible to have more than one bridal shower, but it is not a good idea to invite anyone more than once.
The exception to the above rule is that the mother of the bride and the bridesmaids should be there for most, if not all, showers.
When it comes to the gifts received at a shower: Shower gifts and wedding gifts are not a one-or-the-other deal. Bridal showers (if there is more than one planned for a particular bride) are sometimes themed, with guests bringing specific small gifts to fit that theme.
No gift is to be used until after the wedding, possibly even until the couple are living together.
It is important for someone to keep a list of who gave the couple what gift during the shower so that proper thank you cards can be sent out after the ceremony.
If the wedding is called off, all gifts must be returned unused to those who gave them.
When inviting guests to the shower, it is impolite to mention gifts on the invitation at all, monetary or otherwise. The same goes for the wedding invitations.
The bride's mother and the bridesmaids are not required to give a gift for every shower attended.

In most cases, etiquette for almost anything wedding-related is dictated by a large dose of common sense and the protocols of politeness. So keep in mind what Emily Post might say and do in this situation, and the bridal shower will go smoothly and be an enjoyable party for everyone involved.

Working With the Wedding Planner

2006-09-27T17:29:00.000-07:00

You're engaged and the date of the wedding is set for a few weeks or so from now, but you and your husband-to-be are so busy with work that you can't possibly handle the wedding arrangements by yourself. So you've decided to hire a wedding planner to organize your wedding for you. Good. This should ultimately help you enjoy the wedding itself without becoming completely overwhelmed with the process. The wedding planner will take care of most things, but it is still your wedding, and it is important to give input and know what's going on with every step.

Make sure you have a consultant who favors clear and frequent communication during the time spent setting up the ceremony and reception. Without good levels of communication, it will be tough to make sure the wedding stays on track in a way that you are happy with.
If you do not feel comfortable around the wedding planner, it won't matter how good they are at communicating what is going on. In order to get the most out of their services and have the best wedding setup as possible, you must be able to talk openly and clearly with your wedding consultant and make your ideas and desires known.

It is important to tell the planner what you are looking for, and the more specific you get, the less guess work and room for error there is. At the very least, while listening to the wedding planner's suggestions and ideas, let them know if there are things you will not want at your wedding at any cost. That at least will narrow down ideas and save them the trouble of suggesting certain things.

Try to be as open to the wedding planner's ideas and suggestions, especially if you are unsure of what you personally would like for specific parts of your wedding. Wedding planners, especially ones who have been in the business for a long time, understand how weddings go, what is needed, and how to get the best quality at the best price. If they didn't, they wouldn't stay in the business very long.

Have frequent sit-down conversations with your planner to go over everything, especially if you have changed your mind about something. Making sure the wedding planner knows exactly what you want is key to getting it. And in the case where you have decided to go a different route with the wedding plans, give them as much notice as possible to make sure they can accommodate the change.

Consider making a sheet with all the steps needed to put together the wedding, listing approximate times for certain aspects of the wedding to be set and arranged by. Make sure that both you and the wedding planner do your best to stick to the list and remember to add extra time in case something comes up or in case of a drastic change to the plans for the wedding.

When everything is said and done, if the lines of communication between the wedding planner and yourself have been kept wide open and well-used, the wedding should be a success. Not to mention the fact that there should be a high level of satisfaction and accomplishment for everyone involved in the planning.

How To Split the Cost of a Wedding Traditionally

2006-09-26T19:57:00.000-07:00

With the average wedding costing almost $20,000, it is obvious that one person will not be paying for all of that. Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for a good portion of things, but that tradition has changed somewhat since the inception of tradition now that the bride and groom no longer tend to live their entire married life in the groom's family home.

The bride, in years past, was typically financially dependent upon her family and rarely paid for much on her own. But now that most women have jobs outside of the home, the bride is responsible for paying for the groom's ring, a wedding gift for her husband-to-be, gifts and a luncheon for her bridesmaids, and accommodations for guests who are coming in from out of town. If she cannot manage that, her family tends to pick up the slack.

The groom is responsible for the bride's wedding ring, as well as a gift for her and his groomsmen and ushers, the bridal bouquet, the corsages of both mothers, his own boutonniere and those of his groomsmen and ushers, the marriage license and fee for the person presiding over the wedding itself, not to mention the limousine and everything for the honeymoon including travel expenses and lodging.

Bridesmaids, the Maid of Honor, the best man, groomsmen, and ushers must generally pay for their own wedding attire. The groomsmen or perhaps just the Best Man tend to pay for the bachelor party, while the bridesmaids or just the Maid of Honor tend to throw at least one shower or prenuptial party for the bride.

It is the responsibility for the groom's family was relatively non- existent traditionally until around the 1950s. Now they help with the wedding by taking care of the expenses for the groom's cake and the rehearsal dinner, as well as the groom's parents' wedding attire. Occasionally they also offer to help pay for certain aspects of the reception.

The bride's family, however, takes care of everything else. This includes the flowers for the reception and bridesmaids' bouquets, anything rented for the wedding and reception, the wedding invitations and programs, specially printed items for the reception, any fees for the wedding venue and various reception fees such as catering and music, photography during the ceremony and reception, the wedding cake and favors for guests, and of course, the wedding attire for the bride's parents.

Guests are mostly concerned with paying for a gift for the couple, their own wedding wear, and whatever travel expenses may be incurred by going to the wedding if it isn't nearby. These traditions and guidelines change based on various factors for the wedding. If this is the bride's second marriage or more, her parents are not required by tradition to help pay for anything. Also, general wedding expenses can be lowered by choosing family members or guests to handle certain aspects themselves (such as food, desserts, decorations, etc.) if they are talented in the field in question and are willing to do so in lieu of giving a gift.

With a breakdown of expenses between a larger group of people, a wedding costing almost $20,000 isn't nearly as bad as first imagined. Charging the financial burden will help those involved to enjoy the day much more without one person thinking about the fact that they basically paid for everything. And in the end, everyone wins and can have a lovely wedding to participate in and look back on fondly over the years.

Looking Your Best on Your Wedding Day

2006-09-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

Weddings are possibly both the best and most exciting thing to happen in a lifetime, while also being the most nerve-wracking, terrifying things anyone can go through. Despite this, the only thing the bride is supposed to show is the joy of being linked to another person whom they love completely for the rest of their lives. But after a few weeks of planning and organizing and hoping everything comes together, it isn't always the easiest thing in the world to wake up without jittery nerves and feeling like the most beautiful creature in the world.

With the right routine, it can be easy to minimize the effects of stress and the running around associated with the last weeks before a wedding. So here are a few tips that, if started at least two weeks before the wedding, will help you feel and look better on your wedding day:

This is a no-brainer in most situations, but make sure to drink more than enough water on a daily basis. Dehydration can cause several issues and can lead to bloating, which is never fun, especially not on such an important day. Water also helps flush the body of toxins which can cause more stress on the body.
Try not to skip any meals, even if you are pressed for time and find yourself running errands at all hours of the day. Eat as healthy as possible for each meal as well, and avoid fried foods as best as you are able.
Cut back on the sugars, salts, caffeine and alcohol. In some cases it isn't practical or feasible to cut out all sugars and salts, but it is possible to avoid alcohol and to limit your caffeine intake severely. Sugar and salt used in high doses can slow the body's processes down, while caffeine and alcohol encourage dehydration.
Take care of your skin. Make sure it is kept well-hydrated and clean, and do some research on the best skin care rituals for your skin type. Think about moisturizers, cleansers, exfoliation, and even night time masks and creams that will help your particular kind of skin retain its natural glow and beauty.
Remember to take the time to exercise, whether that means going down to the gym a few times a week or doing something like taking a brisk walk for a few minutes a day. Not only does exercising keep you in better shape, it helps you sleep better and it keeps the body running well.
Make sure to get enough sleep, or as close to enough sleep as possible. Sleeping well can help keep you from feeling run down while everything is being situated before the wedding.

With so many things going on before the wedding, it can almost seem impossible to take the time to add more daily routines or to even take time out to relax. But if you can manage it, do it. Your body will thank you and you won't feel as run down once the wedding is over and done with. Not to mention the fact that the wedding photos will be even more radiant with a little extra TLC.

Wedding Planning for Grooms

2006-09-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, even before reading and writing was a common skill, weddings revolved around women. Two families would decide to marry their children together, much without their consent, and the bride's family would give a dowry to the groom's family in return for them taking care of their little girl. It was common for the bride and her mother, aunts, grandmother, cousins, and any able-bodied young girl who could be spared to create the wedding clothing for the bride (and sometimes the groom as well), along with any clothing the bride might need before her move. All the groom had to do for the wedding was make sure he showed up.

Now, after so many centuries spent with the wedding being seen as the bride's day, some grooms have no idea what to do to help out. Some don't care either way, but for those that do with to help, here is some advice.

It is often in your best interest to be supportive of your bride- to-be at this time, especially if you don't have much thought or care either way as to how everything should look.
When you do have an opinion, voice it. If you don't have an opinion, but at least you know you aren't keen on the idea you are being presented with, mention that as well.

Attempt to be available for things like looking at reception venues and help pick out music. The bride may be taking care of most of the decisions and helping the wedding planner the most, but she may need and appreciate you being there for some of the decisions that affect the both of you.

While she's handling flowers and invitations, consider taking care of things that you might be better suited for, such as finding a good limousine company or picking the DJ or live band.
Make sure to listen to her when she brings up the wedding. If she is very immersed in wedding-planning, she will talk about it a lot. If there is nothing else for you to do, being supportive and willing to listen to her will mean a lot to her.
The bride traditionally plans the reception while the groom traditionally takes care of the honeymoon. If the two of you have discussed where you would like to go, and for how long, book it so after the wedding blows over, you two can go and relax and spend time together and just enjoy doing nothing for a while.

If all of that is taken care of, and you still see your fiancée doing a lot of running around, ask her for an idea of how to help. You may not necessarily like what she suggests, but she could use the help and it would probably mean a lot to her if you helped out.

If you do what you can to make the event a lot less complicated and take some of the weight off the bride's shoulders, you will both feel good about how it all comes together, and your fiancée won't be as unbelievably exhausted by the time the wedding day comes around.

And Then There Are Wedding Favors

2006-09-23T12:33:00.000-07:00

It is a common thing -- though not a requirement, of course -- to find favors on the tables of wedding receptions where a meal is going to be served. The purpose for these favors is, in most cases, to provide a way for the guests to remember the wedding after they have left and returned home. There are many different types of favors to choose from if you have decided to add them to your list of wedding necessities, and they vary in appropriateness based on the size of the guest list and budget, not to mention the personality and hobbies of the bride and groom.

A common wedding favor is a piece of cloth or lacy material tied into a small bag-shape with ribbon that contains candies. The ribbon and candies are often colored to match the wedding colors, and the ribbon usually has a little note card mentioning the name of the couple and the date of their wedding. These can be assembled by someone else, or put together by the bride, groom, or any of her friends and family. Either way, it is a common and cost-effective favor because it takes very little work and everything involved can be bought in bulk.

Some couples decide to go with engraved glass products that people are allowed to bring home after the reception. This tactic works best with a small group or a bigger budget. These items include:

wine glasses
votive candle holders
beer steins
bud vases
champagne flutes
shot glasses

Glass items tend to cost more (upwards of $3 each) and for a modest budget or extensive number of guests, this may not be the best route to take.

Favors can be practical, useful, or goofy. Sometimes the place card holders for seating are able to be taken home, and these place card holders can come in many different shapes, sizes, and ideas. The price varies from item to item, depending on the size and materials used in making it. If you have a theme wedding, this can narrow down the favors significantly to match this theme. Using the place card holder suggestion, there are holders that look like fortune cookies that would work well in an Asian theme, and simple holder stems with flip-flop shaped bases that would go well with a beach theme.

Sometimes favors that match the season you are getting married in can be nice. For a fall wedding, favors with brownish-red and orange leaves would work nicely, just as winter weddings can use favors covered in snowflakes.

The shape the favors come in can also be something meaningful towards the couple themselves, perhaps representing the way they met or a special hobby they share that is very important to them. If they met on a golf course, for example, and continue to play together when the weather is right, personalized golf balls with their name and wedding date would be appropriate.

Whatever the theme of the wedding, or the style of the bride and groom themselves, there are a plethora of ideas for wedding favors out there, some common, some cute, some unique. It's just a matter of finding what you are looking for and making it work in your budget, whatever that may be.

Covering the Wedding Musical Basics with your DJ

2006-09-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

When it comes to music, it is not enough to decide on skipping a live band or an ensemble for a DJ. If you don't sit down with that DJ and decide on a few things, you could have a very bizarre or unappealing mix of music to listen to. Remember: everyone has different musical tastes, so you can't assume the DJ automatically knows yours without prompting. So here are some things to discuss with the DJ prior to the wedding.

See if they have a list of the music they have on hand so you can pick out songs you want to hear at some point during the reception and what songs you would not want to hear under any circumstance.
At traditional weddings that involve dancing, there are a number of special dances that need to have songs picked out. Sometimes the bride and groom's first dance as a married couple can be done with their song (if that have one) playing in the background. There are also the father-daughter dance and mother-son dance to think about, or decide not to have altogether.
Consider what kind of music you want playing during the meal, if you are having one. Instrumental music is popular, as are soft love songs played quietly so as not to disturb the flow of conversation.
Wedding dances can be fun or embarrassing, depending on the person. If you happen to like the Electric Slide, ask your DJ to play it, and possibly other songs spread out through the reception. If not, make it very, very clear that you would rather keep the dancing optional and unthreatening.
Think about the different kinds of people who will be at the wedding. If the bride and her bridesmaids have a song they'd always sing and dance to on nights out in their youth, mark that on the list of songs that must be played.
If children are invited to the wedding, consider a few songs that they will recognize and want to dance to. Conga-lines are popular with the little ones, as is the Chicken Dance. And what can be more fun than watching a grown adult doing the chicken dance in formal wear with a group of small children?
For the cake cutting, the choices for music are virtually limitless. Many opt for romantic songs to play, while couples with a serious humor streak will choose funnier songs like Def Leopard’s "Pour Some Sugar on Me," or even "Eat It" by Weird Al Yankovic.
Similarly, the different songs that can be played during the garter removal are a large variety and probably should be picked prior to the wedding unless you are particularly fond of surprises.

The music can sometimes make or break the way the dance floor fills up during a wedding. So choose wisely -- if you have the DJ play songs that only a handful of people can get down and boogie to, it can make for a very slow-moving reception. And don't forget to pick out some favorite slow-dance songs. Variety is the spice of life, and can definitely make the difference for any wedding reception.

What Exactly Is a Wedding Planner?

2006-09-22T07:57:00.000-07:00

Weddings are exciting, and they tend to be events that almost borderline on a festival. For centuries, back when weddings were new and young and the rituals and traditions we go through today were still being put in place, the task of setting up the event and subsequent celebration was often left to the bride and her female relatives, friends, and servant girls/women. But now, many brides and their friends are often too busy working to spend night and day sewing the bridal attire, making the food to accommodate all of the guests, and anything else needed for a proper wedding. But someone still is needed to make sure everything gets done before the big day; and that is where wedding planners come in.

Wedding planners (or wedding coordinators) are, essentially, the personal assistants of the wedding field. They are the ones who do everything in their power to keep the wedding going smoothly from that morning until the reception is over. (Really, the only thing they can't control is making sure both the bride and groom show up and say "I do.")

Wedding planners arrange just about everything, from dress fittings to deciding what kind of cake to get and by whom, to floral arrangement picking, to seeing and deciding on venues for the reception.

If the parties involved can't decide where to hold the ceremony, the wedding planner helps them choose. If the bride and groom want a theme wedding, it is the wedding planner's job to get them what they want, within reason, of course -- all the while sticking to the budget placed by the people paying for everything.

A keen eye is important as the planner is the one overseeing all the various areas involved in a wedding, so making sure everything is as close to perfect as possible is important, as is a good understanding of how to match colors and styles.

Not only do wedding planners often come up with wedding themes, they also often help choose wedding colors, which then need to be matched in correctly, because not all blues are the same, and that goes for every basic color out there. And without properly matching colors, weddings don't always look their best.

It is also the job of the wedding planner to get the best quality for the best price. And since the average wedding costs almost $20,000, the people paying for the ceremony appreciate the lowered costs tremendously. And when the stress becomes too much to bear, the wedding planner is often an impromptu therapist and motivational speaker to make sure that nothing -- or as close to nothing as possible -- goes wrong on that day.

In the end, it is the wedding planner's job to do everything in their powers to make the wedding the bride and groom have always dreamed of. If they succeed at that on a regular basis, they will be swimming in offers to plan weddings. If they can't, they won't last in the wedding planning business very long.

The Role of Mothers During a Wedding

2006-09-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

As the matriarchs of their families, the mothers of both the bride and the groom have some very distinct roles to play in the wedding of their children. But, sometimes, it is not easy to be sure what those roles are, or what is even appropriate for each to do.

The mother of the bride has a good deal of work and support to take care of, given that weddings are generally considered to be the bride’s day. If the bride and her mother are close, it is often the mother who helps keep the wedding day within the ideals and preferences of her daughter.

The mother of the groom's main job is to assist the bride's mother in bringing the two families together in order to organize certain aspects of the wedding in a proper and timely way. It is also the responsibility, generally, for the groom's mother to contact the bride’s mother or invite the bride's mother and father to dinner to introduce themselves if they have not done so already or to have a nice get together to celebrate the coming together of their family.
Both mothers usually oversee a good portion of the invitation sending, especially when the bride or groom come from large families and can afford a large, lavish wedding. The bride's mother -- since tradition leads the bride's family to typically take care of most of the wedding expenses -- will dictate the number of guests allowed and the groom's mother will follow that in the inviting of her family members.

The mothers of the couple are in charge of their attire, though the mother of the bride is to pick hers out first. She should then let the groom's mother know what style and color her dress is so she can find one that is complementary to the bride's mother's dress, and that of the bridesmaids. It is important that the groom's mother's dress not match exactly in color but still add to the overall color scheme of the wedding.

The groom's family traditionally hosts or pays for the rehearsal dinner, so the mother must know who to invite. Everyone involved in the wedding should be there, and invitations should be open to their significant others and their parents if there are young children involved. If the wedding is local, it can be held at the mother's house if it had room to accommodate the wedding party or at a nice local restaurant as well.

Both mothers are required to find lodging and make reservations for out-of-town guests, each making reservations for her own family. If the wedding is being held in the town where one or both of the mothers live, it is often best to reserve rooms at a hotel closest to the house of the mother the guest is related to.

At the base of it all, the mothers are in charge of making sure their children’s' wishes are met and that the families come together for what should be a joyous occasion. With finer points such as who is seated during the wedding ceremony first, this is a matter than can be taken care of by whomever is orchestrating the movement of the wedding procession. It is most important for the mothers to give their children support because a wedding is a wonderful and beautiful event, but it also often a very stressful one as well.

Beautiful Outfits for Nontraditional Brides

2006-09-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

Let's face it: some of us don't have the fairy-princess outlook when it comes to our weddings. There are brides who don't like the idea of wearing a traditional white gown with the veil and train. That doesn’t mean that those brides need to forget what they want and go traditional anyway, and it certainly doesn't mean the bride can't look fabulous as well.

Often nontraditional gowns and bridal outfits need to be put together by the bride themselves or by heading to a seamstress or dress designer and seeing what they can come up with. The downside to this is that the prices for certain styles and patterns will cost more than a traditional wedding dress, especially if the design itself is drawn and figured out by the seamstress making it. The upside is, however, that you will be able to find a dress that fits your style and personality better than a more common, traditional gown might.

For those of us with old world flair, there are plenty of custom dress makers who specialize in Renaissance and Medieval styled gowns. Many of them are still primarily white, but often give the opportunity for additional color and style that is less common now than it was in the past. If you consider yourself gothic in style, it is also possible to get a wedding gown in darker colors to suit your fancy. Combine a dress with an older style with a darker color such as a deep dark red or a black, and you may have the perfect dress for the bride with a darker sensibility. The gothic and medieval/Renaissance dresses and other older-styled dresses like it can often be used with or without the help of a corset. Specially designed corsets in various patterns and colors can definitely add style to almost any gown.

For a look more recent than the Renaissance and still older than most of our parents, look into wedding gowns found in vintage shops. The cost of buying the dress and having it touched up to fit you tends to cost less than a new dress would. There are also designers who specialize in dresses from the 1920s and thereabouts, which is helpful if you can't find the kind of vintage gown you want.

Consider shorter dresses, too, if you have the legs for it. A traditionally-topped gown that ends around the knees can make quite an impression and alter the look of the outfit considerably. Certain wedding themes with a casual flair can be translated well with a short dress or wrap skirt. Some brides-to-be would rather not wear a primarily white gown, or would rather not wear white at all. This includes second-time brides, or those of us who simply do not feel comfortable in the color. The answer is sometimes simple enough by going to a bridal store, finding a traditional gown you like very much and then asking if they can order it in a particular color, though in the case of a bride who would rather not wear something as common as a bridal store dress, it can take a little more searching.

Whatever the dress, and whatever the style, on your wedding day it is your right and privilege to wear the most beautiful outfit you can. It just takes some planning, a lot of advance notice, and sometimes a well-padded dress budget.

Things To Remember When Buying A Wedding Gown

2006-09-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

Some women spend a good portion of their childhood dreaming up the details of their ideal wedding: the groom (or the knight in shining armor) who swept them off their feet, the beautiful flowers all over the place, not to mention the stunning gown they will wear during the whole festival. Very seldom, however are such fantasies easily translated into reality. These dreams seldom include the hunt for such a dress. So here are a few things to keep in mind while searching for that perfect gown.

If you are being married in a place of worship, check to see what, if any, dress codes (no bare shoulders, etc.) there are that could possibly make your style of dress considered inappropriate for the ceremony.

Wedding gown sizes do not run the same as sizes you would find at normal clothing stores and often require the bride to have her measurements taken for proper fitting.
Remember to add the cost of alterations to your dress, the veil, headpiece, undergarments, shoes, and jewelry when coming up with a dress budget.
If you are considering having a custom dress made for you, have the seamstress you are considering make something for you that isn't a wedding dress. That was you can tell how skillful he or she really is and how well you two work together before spending the money on something expensive and important.
Consider that you may need to have more than one fitting between the time you first try on the dress and the day of the wedding. Make sure to leave plenty of room in the schedule in the last week before the wedding just in case further alterations need to be made.
Whatever dress you decide on, make sure you feel comfortable in it. If someone needs to tell you that, "Yes, you really, truly, honestly do look good in that dress," it is not a dress you should consider buying.
Take the time to go dress shopping in the middle of the day, if you can spare the time. The stores will mostly be less crowded and have more time to help you try dresses on in a shorter time span.
When looking at a bridal store, take the time to try on dresses, even if you don't like the way they look on the hanger. Dresses don't always look the same when they are on someone, unless you somehow happen to be wide-set in the shoulders and have absolutely no waist or hips.
If you are looking to have a less formal dress, or at least less- ornate, consider looking at bridesmaids dresses, which can be ordered in white and may be perfect for a slightly more casual than normal affair.
Before finally buying a dress, give yourself at least 24 hours before purchasing it and scheduling time to have alterations made. Once a gown is fitted to your particular shape, most bridal shops will not accept returns if you change your mind.

Dress buying can be quite complicated and time-consuming, but think of it this way: time spent finding the Holy Grail of dresses not only means a higher chance of getting that perfect dress, but it also means less time spent worrying about everything else for the wedding. It is also time to give yourself to be the princess on her way to marry that noble knight on his pure white stead. So find that dress: your childhood self would appreciate it.

Marriages Are Meant to Last the Rest of Your Life, The Receipt for the Wedding is Not

2006-08-31T13:56:00.000-07:00

These days, on average, people are spending almost $20,000 on what some consider the most important day of their lives. A literal day is considered to be a twenty-four hour period, meaning the average wedding costs approximately $834 per hour, or $13 per minute! Most of us don't have that kind of money laying around, and would rather save that amount for buying necessities for after the wedding. So here are a few big ways to keep the cost of your wedding low but not lessen the enjoyment of the big day.

Setting Priorities

First, figure out what you consider to be the most important aspects of the wedding, the things you want to receive the most attention. If you are more focused on factors like the bridal gown and the reception venue, there are other places that can then stand to have less money thrown at it. Pare down that guest list. Not only does a smaller guest list mean a lower overhead cost, but it also means each guest gets more time to say a hello or wish the new couple congratulations. If you invite every relative you can think of, and every friend you've had since kindergarten, this will bog down socialization for the bride and groom, which will then leave less time and energy for dancing and all of that photo-taking!

Location, location, location!

The phrase "Location, location, location!" applies to weddings as well. Not only is it important to hold the wedding and reception in a place that is convenient for as many people as possible, but depending on how popular a place is for weddings, the more you will have to pay. Consider having the wedding during the week when fewer people are likely to schedule, and if the weather is nice enough, consider an outdoor wedding at national parks that offer large spaces for low costs and often come with a covered area full of tables or picnic benches. For much more intimate receptions, it's a good option to celebrate at the house of a friend or relative who happens to have plenty of room and is relatively close to where the wedding was held. Just make sure to hide the breakables, just in case!

Food for Thought

Think carefully about the food. You may want the best food for the people you care about enough to invite to such an important event, but consider that everyone has different preferences, and some have allergies, so a set menu may not always be the best idea, and often is very expensive. Consider doing something buffet-styled, which gives options, and is generally much cheaper than fancier set menus. If the reception is being held in the home of a friend or relative, or at an outdoor venue, catering is another option, as is handling the food yourself, which is helpful if you know people who love to cook enough food to feed an army. And don't forget the bar. Limiting the amount of alcohol served or cutting it out altogether can save a good chunk of money, not to mention leave the guests more able to remember the event without the potential cloud of too many free martinis.

Your wedding day shouldn't be about the price of it all. But you'll definitely remember it more favorably if you aren't spending the first five years of your married life paying it off.