The Role of Mothers During a Wedding

As the matriarchs of their families, the mothers of both the bride and the groom have some very distinct roles to play in the wedding of their children. But, sometimes, it is not easy to be sure what those roles are, or what is even appropriate for each to do.

The mother of the bride has a good deal of work and support to take care of, given that weddings are generally considered to be the bride’s day. If the bride and her mother are close, it is often the mother who helps keep the wedding day within the ideals and preferences of her daughter.

The mother of the groom's main job is to assist the bride's mother in bringing the two families together in order to organize certain aspects of the wedding in a proper and timely way. It is also the responsibility, generally, for the groom's mother to contact the bride’s mother or invite the bride's mother and father to dinner to introduce themselves if they have not done so already or to have a nice get together to celebrate the coming together of their family.
Both mothers usually oversee a good portion of the invitation sending, especially when the bride or groom come from large families and can afford a large, lavish wedding. The bride's mother -- since tradition leads the bride's family to typically take care of most of the wedding expenses -- will dictate the number of guests allowed and the groom's mother will follow that in the inviting of her family members.

The mothers of the couple are in charge of their attire, though the mother of the bride is to pick hers out first. She should then let the groom's mother know what style and color her dress is so she can find one that is complementary to the bride's mother's dress, and that of the bridesmaids. It is important that the groom's mother's dress not match exactly in color but still add to the overall color scheme of the wedding.

The groom's family traditionally hosts or pays for the rehearsal dinner, so the mother must know who to invite. Everyone involved in the wedding should be there, and invitations should be open to their significant others and their parents if there are young children involved. If the wedding is local, it can be held at the mother's house if it had room to accommodate the wedding party or at a nice local restaurant as well.

Both mothers are required to find lodging and make reservations for out-of-town guests, each making reservations for her own family. If the wedding is being held in the town where one or both of the mothers live, it is often best to reserve rooms at a hotel closest to the house of the mother the guest is related to.

At the base of it all, the mothers are in charge of making sure their children’s' wishes are met and that the families come together for what should be a joyous occasion. With finer points such as who is seated during the wedding ceremony first, this is a matter than can be taken care of by whomever is orchestrating the movement of the wedding procession. It is most important for the mothers to give their children support because a wedding is a wonderful and beautiful event, but it also often a very stressful one as well.